NoFormula4Love

You can’t guilt a caterpillar into becoming a butterfly. Transformation is a process that takes time, patience, and the right conditions—not pressure, shame, or fear. Just as a caterpillar must retreat into a cocoon and undergo unseen change before it can emerge with wings, people also need space, grace, and encouragement to grow. Trying to rush or force someone’s healing or development through guilt only stunts the process and damages trust. Real change comes from within, not from the weight of someone else’s expectations.

After I was verbally abused by a loved one years ago because she was angry and depressed I put up a guard and lived in fear especially with her. She has verbally abused me another time after that, but I just let it go and blamed it on her unhappiness. I still feared it would happen again, therefore I avoided her and walked on eggshells if I was around her. I changed my life so I would be around her too much, I talked less and stayed quiet to avoid backlash. I also feared it was all my fault for how she felt and I deserved the abuse.
Another fear I had was how she would act in the future if she didn’t find happiness.
After getting help and working on myself with a mentor I started to realize that nothing that happened was my fault– it was the dysfunction. I also began to realize that I could not dwell on the past or fear the future. I had to take things “One day at a time” I also started using a mantra ” pain is inevitable, suffering is optional ”
The pain I experienced was traumatic and the suffering horrible. I continued to have fear and worry about those instances playing it over in my head. Eventually, I found out it was holding me back. I had to leave my fears in the past and keep my focus on the person I want to become.
This experience helped me to grow as I accepted the hardship as the pathway to peace. I do not like it, but it was an awakening for me I had to move from living with the memory of that incident and letting it go. I went through the necessary grieving process.

Denial, bargaining, Anger, sadness, acceptance, guilt, obsession. 

Good grief….I am healing 🙌🏼

Mourning what was lost,, grieving what never was 

Many of us questioned, I know I did, what has become of my life? 🤷🏽‍♀️.

We may be clinging to past hopes and dreams, or memories before the chaos 勞began. We may be reluctant to accept our losses, fearing what our grief will consume us if we acknowledge it. We may not have had the relationship we wanted nor we were treated in the ways we hoped or expected.  To cope with our pain, we may have created a fantasy of the perfect family, the perfect childhood, the perfect relationship, or the perfect life.
There lies a delicate balance between avoiding our pain and giving ourselves time to deal with it. We don’t want to circumvent we are ready.  Much like a child who needs the comfort of a security blanket, we may need to hold on to our dreams until we become ready to face life without them. We wouldn’t rip away the blanket, when feeling safe enough, the child will let go of it. We trust that ourselves this same compassion and understanding, trusting that when the time is right we will be ready to face our losses. 輸

~ I heard someone say, ‘the answer to pain is in the pain, & I decided to let go of control & allow the grief & God to take me wherever I was meant to go. ‘~ 

When we reach this point of letting go, we can begin to see others for who they are, rather than who we hope they will become.  With this acceptance can also come a profound sense of loss. Many of us didn’t get the lives we hoped for, but obsessing about what we perceive to be life’s unfairness only sets us up for more misery.  Eventually we learn to accept what is,even if its not the way we would like it to be. 

~No one is trying to help me restore my lost dreams.  Miraculously, I am finding them while, I CANNOT change the course of my family history, I am gaining the strength & support of others in my program along with the help of God, to allow me to rebuild a new & far richer life for myself than I ever could have planned or dreamed.~ 

The pain is in the resistance to Let go…..God’s got this. 

Twenty Twenty one

Goals give our lives direction.

Today, I am discussing my disappointment for the first day of the year, instead of getting upset about it I am reminded that God’s delays are not his denials.

Write it down & Let it go.

Questions:

What would you like to have happen this year?

What blocks or character defects would you like to have removed?

I want to start with a quote from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

‘Your friends are God’s way of apologizing for your relatives?:

December 31, 2020

On this day another year closes. I am excited to admit I love New years Eve, it is one of my favorite times of the year. I don’t normally make resolutions but, I reflect on my personal progress. This year “2020” was good to me, I met a lot of my goals. I have learned to better accept myself and like the true authentic unique Me. As I walk boldly into 2021 one day at a time, I will continue to love myself, forgive myself, learn myself and ease myself of the burdens of the past and uncertainties of the future. Whatever may come I will meet with a serene mind.

I am not perfect but, I am excellent!

https://eztree.me/NoFormula4Love​

http://www.noformula4love.com

The Virtual God Box is a place to Let go and Let God.

This Virtual God Box allows you to type your wishes, prayers and worries, that continually keep holding you back or you keep picking back up. You can send it, and let it go.

This is form of “Letting Go” is a symbol , that you are willing to put your trust in the hands of God.

No need to hold on to people, places or things that are keeping you back from moving forward. You are worth so much more.

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you and you shall hold your peace.

There is no formula for love but I can share with you my Solutions to Everyday Problem, what I have done and doing to be made well.

NoFormula4Love is a motivational platform created (established 3.19.2018) for anyone that grew up  dysfunctional homes (not operating properly) or suffers from the affects of the disease of alcoholism or addiction.

My name is SolAnge and I am a recovering people pleaser that suffered from low self-worth and as a result I am a workaholic and have gotten into the habit of choosing bad foods for emotional comfort. I don’t drink alcohol, smoke or do drugs but I have some defects or what I call “character blocks” that does not do justice to the mind body & soul which can lead to negative thinking. I am striving to become a lifestyle wellness mind coach.

I will be sharing with you some issues that I have encountered and what I have done or do to overcome them, most shares are coming from what I have learned during or, after the process. I am still a work in progress over the perfectionism.
The pain I go through is from the resistance and I to continue practice daily to Let go and Let God.

My videos are short to keep your attention if you want to talk you can contact me directly and we can dig deeper into the issues and come up with a joint solution.
I am not a professional but I have learned alot about myself and have become comfortable to be able to be transparent to share.

I can honestly say, I have found the solutions to everyday problems for myself , if applied properly. I will share with you the tools I use and, my experience strengths and hope that I have put together to become more happier, joyous and free.
This may not be for you but it can be for someone you know so like share and subscribe.

I pray that this is a blessing 🙏🏽

Why do this?

• Because we can be made well.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

Please submit a virtual GodBox entry and I will be praying for you.